These whole weeks, i read number of pshycological books, plus ESQ (my sister's book who fall 2 sleep during the training ,but the book's wonderful n inspiring). And not long ago, i've been consulted to psycholog wanna be (therapist). He was one of my new friends , coz of that reason, i have 2 pay null per hour. Plus i've got alot of information , guidance from someone who know spiritual psychology(psikologi agama).It cure my heart n my mental pain. COz they (whom i asked advices) never know me before, so they advice, judgement, alternative thought that they offered me , was objective . Such a great & long lasting contemplation
And the result's, i turn to smile again.Even the fact, i have forgot how to smile for months sincerely. All out're anger, guilt, and tears. But now i want to confess that i am happy.The power of guilt still exist, but it's trying to find the best way out. It what we called way of life.
Frankly speaking i am not a psycho, nor schizophren, and not also the one who's suffering split personalities, It's all because there's "huge" GAP between the ideal and real condition.
About college, honestly i planned it. I feel reluctant to graduate in 8th semester. Why ? Coz , @ that time , i thought someone who deserves to graduate only her(L.I.A) .I thought it's mean(evil),if i and other friends graduate in a perfect time (ini hanya pola pikir yg aq buat sndiri, jadi kalo ga pas, ya maklumi).So i don't want to graduate with my other friends, i just don't deserve that.So to pay a little bit of guilt(menebus rasa bersalah), I postponed graduation.Even i've ever thougt to let my bachelor degree away .. just loose it(unfortunately, i'm too cowards 2 live without a paper of degree),so i don't do it.Someone said it was riddiculous but .... it's me
So hopefully iam able to rearrange my entire life and graduate in 9th semester.
About work ;I have wonderful n nice partners in work. Coz i'm a new guy (read: woman)so very often, they asked me more than what i have to do even it's not my responsibilites,some said it's exhausted ... coz i am still young, still need 2 learn new things , still capable do hard works , SO NO PROBLEMO. Whatever the job is, as long as i can like it , it turn to be such a fun job
Oaaaalaah ... Ini toh yg nama nya dunia kerja,it's totaly different compare to college world.my Soft Skill is still in a low level ,thx god , i've got place, to learn and abilities + opportunities 2 do COOP.U don't have to be smart 2 make U cool in a work !
Oh ya, recently, i met alot of new people , gather with them , and adapt all the time. trying to be nice , have empathy,is my daily to do, eventhough i'm still nervous, unconfident and "kagok",coz i used to be in front of computer not people, so kurang mahir ber basa basi. It's the important things of work , everyone needs 2 be respected right ? Gesekan - gesekan dalam kerja pasti ada , pas rapat pun bisa jadi nigthmare, shoutedl one to another, kind of new experience 2 me ... i am getting used 2 it
Here, i also met cool people, cool in a work,cool in religion, and also cool in family.Wherever U R the important things 're FOCUS, ADAPTATION,Totality & Integrity ... I've learn much2 lesson from them .Life is only a choice...
It has been 2 months i'm here,so if i leave next months, oo i will miss them and the atmosphere here most....And COOP pals , we're getting closer day by day but then there's time to say goodbye , It's life ...there's nothing last ever after .. no eternal things here
If u build house according to everyone's advices , U will build a crooked house. Just be smart to choose
